Use these 4 tips to negotiate successfully with your boss

We all want the perfect workplace.

Positive environment. Good friends.

Great boss.

High pay.

Job satisfaction.

What if one (or more) of this is not meeting our requirements? Find another job? What if it doesn’t work in the new place either?

As career people, we need to determine our worth, and our wants. If we love doing our job, and the boss is good, but the environment is not so healthy, we need to work on that. Finding a new job is not the answer to everything. Fight for what you want.

I once had to negotiate with my former boss about my job scope.

Some of the tasks I was supposed to do, were continuously being done by my Senior Manager, and so I didn’t have the chance to learn how to do it by myself. That made me feel useless, especially since I was already promoted as Manager for quite a while but was still doing Senior Engineer’s jobs.

I decided to have a discussion with my former boss (his boss).

What I did was:

1. Approached him and tell him verbally that I would like to request some time to talk privately. That should warn him that I have something serious to talk about.

2. We booked a meeting room and used a time when we are both normally calmer from daily hectic times. Avoid mornings when everyone is busy.

3. I prepared my points in a bullets, so I can work my story correctly, and don’t leave important parts. I needed to be precise, remove any emotional matters, keep positive, and connect with my suggestions.

These are 4 important tips that you must remember when negotiating something with your boss.

• He doesn’t have the time to listen to your lengthy complaints, so keep it short.
• Making an emotional burst (of anger, or tears of sadness, etc) will make you look weak and, well, emotional.
• Use positive words, avoid negative words (I will touch on that in other posts), because language indicates your mind and attitude.
• And finally, prepare your suggestions. You’re not there to just say your complaints. Be prepared to answer when your boss asks, “So, what should we do?”. Your proposals can be one or a few, in case he doesn’t agree with them. Don’t worry if he doesn’t, keep negotiating until both parties are happy.

4. When I talked with him, I showed him what I wrote, even though they were just simple notes. This is to show him that I took the time to think this through, and that I am serious, and that I hope this would work out for both of us – it is not just a complaint and I’m off.

Suffice to say, our discussion worked out well, and I later got what I wanted.

Four points to remember to resolve conflicts like a winner

Everyone will face conflicts in one time or the other.

Many people try to avoid conflicts, not having the energy or skill to manage them.

However, sometimes, conflicts should be taken heads on, because more often than not, conflicts arise from solid reasons.

It is how we react from it that matters. Here are 4 important points one must remember when dealing with conflicts.

Communicate openly and compromise

The key to resolving key is to communicate about it. That means to talk about it, and listen to what the other party has to say for himself. He most likely has a good reason of creating the conflict. It is vital to discuss it with an open mind. Sometimes, you may need to compromise your own beliefs, in order to successfully resolve the conflict and achieve a solution.

Focus on final aim

Managing conflicts is never about winning. It is basically a road to go through, in order to achieve a mutual understanding, and agreeing to proceed with further steps. Sometimes, you may be right, sometimes the other party may be right and not you. Be ready to listen to the other party’s concerns – you might even find a richer solution after considering his thoughts!

Also, sometimes discussions go off track, especially when things get emotional, or upsetting pasts are being brought up. In such cases, steer back to the right direction, ignore irrelevant issues or pasts, and focus the time and energy on how we can accomplish results.

Keep calm and stay positive

Discussions may switch to quarrels, when blaming or anger arises. Remind yourself (and the other person, if you can) to stay calm, and stay positive. Find a good time and place to do your battle (read: discuss). Don’t approach someone when he is busy, or tired, or hungry, even. If the discussion is moving towards a heated direction, call for a break, and come back when you’re both more rational.

Try to empathize

Conflicts arise when two (or more) different parties have different concerns. Each member would feel that their own concern is the more important one. During discussions, listen actively, and try to put yourself in the other person’s shoe. Create a comfortable discussion – listen actively, ask open questions and opinion, and do not interrupt. Find the best way to meet each parties’ concern, if they are valid.

3 interesting reasons why storytelling is a valuable skill

Remember those days back in school where we had storytelling competitions?

You had to stand in front of everyone on the stage, and tell that “Hare and Tortoise” story with those props – a rabbit stuffed doll and a tortoise figure.

Oh how we hated the sickening butterflies fluttering in our stomach. No one said there was going to be so many people in the audience. How we practiced and rehearsed until Mommy too remembers the whole story.

Little did we know that that story telling competition is one of the most crucial skills we need to learn to be a grown up. Here are three reasons why.

How to persuade your ideas – revealing 3 tested secrets

A valuable employee is someone who owns ideas.

And not just own it, but to communicate it well enough to bring those ideas to life.

Persuading others of your notions can be tough.

A lot of people have ideas, but find difficulty to explain, and convincing others. Finally, what may be bright proposals, get ignored, and eventually dismissed. This is a waste of potential, and can dull motivation.

Let’s take a look at an old persuasion secret from the famous philosopher, Aristotle.

Aristotle said there are 3 tested and proven modes to persuade an idea.

Ethos 

This means credibility, trust.

In many occasions, people tend to trust something they already know the value of. Typical examples are the power of brand.

Just by the name of BMW, one can imagine the sheer driving pleasure. BMW is a brand well known for the ultimate driving experience. For a business person, driving a BMW may lend an impression of others that their business is good, which indicates investing with them, or purchasing something from them, may be secure. This is an example of persuasion with ethos.

To use ethos at work, we often see names of experts being quoted to strengthen the case. Here, people’s trust to the expert’s judgement is used to convince that our ideas are strong.

Or, the person himself, has a certain charisma, authority, or credibility that people look up to. Perhaps because of his past experience, or knowledge, or skills, or even integrity. With this advantage, whatever he says seem intelligent, and the audience is convinced easily. This is an example of ethos of oneself.

The next time you have a proposal to share, think how you can relate with something, or someone people trust. Or better, build your own credibility by strengthening your value, and one day, you’ll find anything you say is easily persuasive.

 

Logos

This is the persuasion mode using logic.

It means, to convince people, using facts, numbers, data.

Take below for an example.

You should take your medicine daily to avoid stroke.

compared with

If you skip your medicines, there is 80% likelihood that you will get a stroke and from there, 60% chances of losing your mobility.

This example shows how numbers can strengthen your argument and make your reasoning more persuasive.

At work, we use numbers you validate proposals, especially when it comes to money. No one wants to lose money, so the next time you have a proposal, convert the impact of your ideas into cash – you’ll have higher chances of getting people’s attention.

 

Pathos

The last but surely not least mode of persuasion is, emotion.

Most of the time, playing people’s emotions can give them a strong reason to care, and is the stronger mode of persuasion.

Children are natural at persuading with emotions. They cry and make you feel guilty for not buying them that toy the other kids have. They smile ever-so-sweetly when they want that ice cream they love.

At work, sometimes, when ethos and logos don’t seem to work, it is advisable to take out that pathos secret weapon. Hit that person at their most endearing spot, their concerns. If the Production department would not allow downtime for Engineering to perform a certain recipe change, point out the risk of not doing it, towards major machine breakdown and emphasize that it is their own decision and risk to bear by not approving the activity.

Yes, it sounds like blackmail, but it works.

Emotion can be many – happiness, sadness, anger, surprise, pity, respect.

Find a way to use maneuver these emotions of the audience in order to make your mark.

A word of caution – too frequent use of ethos may indicate that you are unprofessional, and have no other strengths, so only use it when necessary.

 

 

Commercials are easy practice to distinguish which of the three modes are being used to convince the audience. Some times you may even see all three modes in one advertisement. Watch how persuasion is being carried out in advertisements and practice it in real life. You’ll see how much more persuasive you can be.

This video is a well known example of all three modes being applied. Look for when is ethos, logos and pathos come in, and prepare to be mesmerized. Enjoy!

Why casual conversations are a sure fire way to bring you higher

The value of chit chat, casual conversations with people surrounding us is sometimes belittled by some people, especially in this era of social media, and heads always over handphones.

People tend to avoid small talk, claiming it is meaningless, sometimes tresspasing others’ privacy.

 

Why is small talk important?

If we look at successful people surrounding us, we may notice that they are smooth conversationalists, friendly, able to talk to anyone, even almost seeming like everyone knows them!

Drive results through your passion (RIP Dolores)

So news arrived about the passing of one of legendary voices in the 90’s, Dolores O’Riordan from The Cranberries. Rest in peace.

The radios play tunes from Cranberries in memories of her strong, determined voice. Coming from Ireland, her songs bear messages of humanity, rebelling against sociopolitical issues.

Listening to the alternative rock on radio last night brought back memories. In those days, music is an art of good melodies (from ballads to punk), combined with lyrics that brought emotional messages (from love to anger to humanity). Call it preference, but today’s music seems like repetition of mere sounds, with trashy lyrics that made no sense.

Enough ranting. Back to The Cranberries.

Change the language you use and immediately see the positive effect to your success!

The next time you are talking with someone, whether it is for work, or just some chit chatting, listen to the words you are using. Or the words he is using.

Do you know that the language, the words we use reflect how we think, how we act and ultimately our success prospects?